My Own Worst Enemy
by Meg0613
Summary: My take on the Bamdamster's prompt "My Own Worst Enemy" . Sometimes we are the ones stopping the happiness of those that we love.


My Own Worst Enemy

Bamdamsters prompt "My Own Worst Enemy" All of the characters of course belong to Duff!

I am my own worst enemy; I know that for a fact. Yes, there are things in my past that I am desperately trying to overcome but sometimes when it comes to moving on and being happy I am my own worst enemy. That might not be entirely true, it's not regular me that does me in. Regular Rusty wants to be happy and wants other to be happy. Nineteen year old college freshman with a stable home Rusty is really happy. That Rusty wants good things for everyone who has done so much for him. He wants Buzz to do well as a reserve officer. He wants Lieutenant Provenza to be happy with Patrice. That Rusty wants to make good friends and maybe even be more than friends with someone. That Rusty really wants the Sharon who is his mom now to be happy and have a good relationship with Lieutenant Flynn. This is where the problem comes in sometimes nineteen year old Rusty gets overshadowed by fifteen year old Rusty. The Rusty who had once hoped for things and trusted people a little only to have that trust destroyed and hopes never fulfilled. I am suddenly the kid who was so surprised when his other mother had told him they were going to the zoo for the day. We never went anywhere or did anything as a family. Her boyfriend was springing for the tickets. That was really surprising given the fight we had the night before. I had finally stood up to him and hit back. I remember thinking that maybe hitting him back had bought me some respect. We hadn't been at the zoo long when my mom and Ray had given me some cash and said I could explore on my own. They told me to call them when I was done. I called them, I called them for three hours until my phone died and it was getting dark and I realized that I had nowhere to go. The Rusty that stood alone in the dark in the parking lot of the zoo with nowhere to go, he is my worst enemy. He is the one who shows up when I start to trust someone. He tells me that I can't trust anyone. For a while I was able to ignore him. I was in a good place. Sharon had proven herself to be trustworthy. She had loved me unlike anyone else ever had. Probably for the first time ever I really understood what it meant to feel loved, and that is part of the problem. Now I know how much I have to lose and fifteen year old Rusty screams at me loudly. He tells me that Sharon is going to kick me out so that Andy can move it. He tells me that Andy is not to be trusted that he will hurt Sharon in the end. I would rather die than let anyone hurt Sharon. She has done so much for me that I feel like I owe her everything. I mentioned that to Dr. Joe yesterday when we met. I told him about how I want Sharon to be happy and I know that she cares about Andy but how I don't want to see her get hurt. Then Dr. Joe did his thing where he turned it back around on me. "What is Andy isn't the one hurting Sharon?" He asked me. That is the question that I have been pondering all day. What if I am the one hurting Sharon? What is by showing my displeasure at her and Andy's relationship I am causing her pain or making it harder on her? That's the last thing I want to do. I don't want to see either of us get hurt for sure, but I especially don't want to be the one to hurt Sharon. So I have to make a choice. I have to choose to trust Andy that he is going to treat her how she deserves. I have to choose to trust Sharon that she won't let Andy treat her badly and I have to trust her that she can love him and me at the same time. Fifteen year old Rusty learned he couldn't trust anyone but nineteen year old Rusty is learning that he has to too. I hear the condo door open and close and can hear both of their voices come into the hallway. I take a deep breath as I walk out to join them.

"Hey , guys, would you like me to make dinner tonight?" I offer. The smile that crosses Sharon's face tells me that she appreciates my offer. Andy shakes his head, "That sounds great, Kid, thanks."

I don't have it all figured out yet but for tonight at least I won't be my own worst enemy.

The End


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